Break me down
by GypsyBlueWolf
Summary: Deanna was that sweet girl everyone walked over. Three years ago she left Sweet Amoris without a word. She ran from her messed up family and constant abuse at school. Now she's back and she's changed. But as those famlair shadows close in can she fight off the past or will she fall back to her old ways?
1. Break me down

My note

Okay.. I hate to admit it but I have played this game. I watched my little sister try and play it but she didn't understand so I helped her and thought the story line was good so yeah here I am.

Also.

I'm going to name every chapter after a relevant song so this one it's Break me down by Red

I remembered this place. I was standing by my Harley Davidson staring at the sickly pink coloured school. I remembered back when I was a younger, only by a few years but I was more innocent. I was a sweet little girl that had her long (natural) black hair in a plait that wore red skirt and tie with a pristine white shirt. Oh and that backpack, thinking of it made me shuddered. I reached into the side of my leather jacket and pulled out my cigarettes and lighter. Every muscle in my body screamed at me to run away, but I'd done that far too many times. I ran away when they pulled my hair out of my head in fistfuls. I ran away when they beat me so badly I could barely see straight. I ran away because I didn't understand what I had done to make them all hate me. When I finally ran far away enough from not only school but fucked up family. I was alone and golly did I grow up quickly.

I wasn't a little girl anymore. I was back; clad in my knee high black heels, black skinny jeans, tight white shirt and of course my trust leather jacket. I took one last drag on the stick and stepped on it. I began walking to the school's doors, smacking them both open I walked inside with vengeance. I knew where I had to go and soon I made a right to the student's council office. I could feel the eyes of the students I left in the hall staring at me.

"Can I help you?"

I turned around to see a tallish tanned blonde boy staring at me. Before I could bite his head off about none of his business, his eyes. Those kind gold eyes caught me off guard.

"Deanna?" he asked, beaming a smile at me.

"Nathaniel." I said flatly. Though I was happy to see him. "I'm back."

"I can tell." he chirped. "You look different?"

At this I laughed. "It could be the make up? Or my new attire? I know my piercings." although I sounded sarcastic we both laughed.

"I'm glad your back, it's nice too see an old friend." Nathaniel smiled then sat to a table. "I need you to fill out this paperwork. Also I need ID and $25."

I fumbled round for some ID and passed it to him then the twenty-five. He handed me some paperwork and I signed it. I went to pass it back to him and realised his golden eyes were now dull and sunken while his usual bright complexion was grey. I frowned. He was still stressed out about paperwork. I felt kind of sorry for him and decided to take him away from it, if only for a couple of minutes. "Nate could you show me round, it's all fuzzy." Lies but hey I was helping out an old friend.

Nathaniel led me round the school and 'introduced' me to a few people but I knew them already and they knew me. One look at my icy blue eyes and they stiffened, like a rabbit in the headlights. The same eyes they looked at when they hit me are the same eyes now that they feared. Nathaniel began filling me in on what has happened recently as we made our way to the court yard. The sun blinded me for a few seconds as we walked outside. I looked down at the ground to shade my eyes when it turned dark; I looked to see a figure looking at me.

"This new girl?" he said with a hiss.

"Castiel this is-" Nathaniel began but I cut him off, I had waited for this moment for a long time.

"You don't recognise me do you?" I laughed bitterly and looked at him with fierce eyes. "Maybe you should throw me to the ground or against some lockers? Call me a name; I know you had a list." I was stepping further away from Nathaniel and closer to Castiel. How I hated him, out of all of them he was the worst. The physical I was used to it only hurts once but the mind games were terrifying and he knew it. "Did you find someone else to pick on?" I was shouting now and people were staring but I continued. "Are you still the little bad boy that thinks no one can touch you?" I smiled at his dumbfounded face. "I'm glad your still here it's my turn to play the bad one now." I turned and walked back towards the school.

"You're that kid? Wow looks like you went an got an attitude." he smirked

I turned again and hooked his jaw with my fist. I took a step back when I realised what I done. Crap.

"And a temper." He said coolly, though his eyes were watering.

I smiled and walked away. I knew he wouldn't say anything to the head mistress so I was safe for now, for now. I felt good to hurt him, it didn't even scratch the surface of what I planned to do with him but it was a start.

_If you are wondering why Deanna hates Castiel so much ill tell you. I've tried to put it in the story but couldn't find a way. _

_Deanna was always alone and Castiel was bored so for a while he was nice to her and the two grow close. Deanna trusted him with her life and told him everything. Castiel was the only stable thing she had in her life, so when he turned on her things went sour. Castiel found out he could manipulate her and used it to his advantage. She followed him like a lapdog and did his dirty work without a second thought. The other students began to realise she was vulnerable and began teasing her one thing led to another and soon being thrown around was daily. She looked up to Castiel for help but he just walked away. _

UPDATE!

So I understand some people might not like me bringing out the darker side of Sweet Amoris and it's students but I'll make up for it.

I slung my bag off my shoulder and dropped it beside my stool. I looked around at the wide-eyed pupils staring at me. They're not so quiet whispers echoed round the room and bounced to me.

"She hit Castiel."

"They say she was here before."

"I don't recognise her."

I sighed and looked out of the window. How I'd kill to be back at home with Saxon. Saxon is my big long haired German Sheppard he takes care of me. I was walking down the street in the rain and seeing big brown eyes looking up at me, they were attached to a black and tan fur ball. I picked it up and took it back my friends house, Gave it a wash and some food that was when I realised I had gained a German Sheppard puppy. Just the thing you need when your sofa surfing.

"Ms. Deanna I hope you're listening."

I smirked and looked at the teacher. "Of course." I looked at her with challenging eyes and soon she turned around. Eyes are a weapon if you could use them correctly. You can show deeper emotion with them than words. The lesson was dragging on so I pulled out my headphones from my jacket and started listening to Time of dying by three days grace.

When the bell finally rang I packed up my things and headed out. I needed to get away from the students before they started asking questions. Weaving in and out of the gathering people to reach the courtyard, I walked down the side of the school and came to a sculded area where no one could find me if they didn't look hard enough. I sat down in the small patch of grass and looked around. There were different kinds of flowers in a horse shoe shape which by the opening had large waterfall like water fountain. Inside were some koi fish. The whole area was shaded by large willow tree only small freckles of light reached in. The only thing you could hear was the birds and water. It was beautiful. I put my headphones back in and led down with the sun slightly on my face.

I don't know how long I stayed there but I think I missed a lesson. I shuffled over to the fountain and touched the water, one of the large koi touched my hand and soon the others were too. I smiled; I had missed this place a lot.

"Careful you might lose your hand." A sarcastic voice spat.

I ripped my hand out of the water; scaring the poor fish and looked up.

"Castiel." I watched as he walked closer. "How did you know I was here?"

"This is we used to talk." He smirked but his steely eyes were serious.

"Leave me alone, I thought you got the message early." I stared at his nicely bruised jaw and smiled.

"Bitch." he muttered. "Why did you come back? To get revenge on me? Make me look a fool? It won't work princess, leave before you get hurt."

"I'm not going anywhere!" I snarled and stood. "I'm back and I'll do what I want. Try and stop me and you'll get more than a bruised jaw." I hissed and grabbed my bag. I shoved past him out to my bike.

I got home in fifth teen minutes. I unlocked my door and stepped inside. "Saxon." I called and heard a thud then claws scratching on the laminate floor. I sat down quickly and let the huge mass off fur and lolling tongue greet me."Hows my boy?" All I got back was some tail wagging hair sniffing so I guessed that meant good. I ran into my room and jumped onto my bed; Saxon soon followed and curled up with me. I reached over to my docking station and play Let it burn by red only quietly as I thought the neighbours might not enjoy the barking then loud music.

"I watched the city burn these dreams ashes float away, your voice I never heard only silence." I mumbled to myself and sighed. Three damn years. Why did I leave? I had friends and a relationship (sorta) I missed Jason. Our childish teasing and awkward flirting. Everyone else could see that we would have been good together but him. "Fuck you Jason." I said into my pillow.

I was thinking about what else I had left behind. I didn't care about my mum or dad or my sister. I missed my grandparents but who I really missed was my little cousin he was seven now and I really needed him; he was the only one that felt like real family. He still called sometimes but being seven calling your outcast cousin wasn't on the to do list.

I sat thinking for a few hours before Saxon nudged me. It was time for his walk. I put on his chain and walked out the door. The chain was just a long collar that you could hold if you needed to hold him back. It didn't bother him but to honest not much did. We walked through alley ways and on main paths, not coming across many people but all of them avoided the girl with the big vicious dog. Yeah come near him and he will lick you to death.

We sat down outside a cafe and I bought two ice creams one for Saxon and the other one for Saxon. I got two licks from it before old softy put on the puppy eyes and I couldn't resist. After another half and hour walking round we headed back to the house, I got inside and put the TV on. Home and away had just started. Excellent. I fed Saxon and sat down I wasn't hungry and I didn't want to cook so i pulled out a bottle of JD and gin. Then the phone rang. "Hello, Carters residents how can I help?" I said poshly, using my British accent to the max.

"Oh um wrong number-"

I recognised the voice and laughed. "Nathaniel it's me."

He gave an awkward laugh.

"So what did you ring me for?" I asked.

"Oh um..ah! How was your first day?"

"Good." *lies*

"It's just Amber told me there some um..tension between you and Cas- I mean another student."

"Amber? No offence Nate but Amber's got nothing to do with it and neither do you, by the looks of things you're stressed out enough." I said trying to change the subject.

"Oh I'm fine; I'm just worried about you."

"Well you shouldn't be I can take care if myself."

"I know but-"

"Goodnight Nate." I put the phone down.

Fucking bimbo bitch Amber. "She's dead." I looked at Saxon who just looked right back. Then the phone rang again.

"What?!"

"Chill dude it's me!"

"Em?"

"No its the pizza man, get your butt on Skype, Kat and I want to talk."

"I love you guys." I cooed down the phone.

"Skype you Harlot!"

"Ok ok." I pulled my laptop onto my lap and opened it up. "I'm not looking so hot today." I said as it loaded. I logged in and saw their faces. "Wow neither do you two." I laughed.

"Shut it you! You ditched us." Kat shoved her face into the camera.

Emma pushed her back. "So how's life?"

"Great." *more lies*

"Lying is a sin." Emma growled.

"Shit. You two know me so well."

"Where's Saxon?"

I moved the laptop to show him laying on the sofa next to me. "Look Saxs it's your aunties." Saxon looked at me the jumped off the sofa and into my room.

Fits of laughter exploded from both sides of the camera.

"We gotta go school tomorrow." Kat said.

"Wait! How's my little Roo?" I asked,

"If you referring to your cousin, we haven't seen him. Sorry De."

"Okay.." I said disappointed.

"Don't worry De he will be fine, after school we will find him."

"Thanks girls. Look out for him OK?!" I said.

"We will." they chorused and disconnected.

I put the laptop on floor and got up, I trudged to my room and changed then got into bed. Saxon curled up next to me. I closed my eyes and soon fell asleep.

Now you're gone

I realize my love for you was str-

I slammed my palm down onto the alarm clock and groaned. Feeling a warm breath on my neck I turned to look at big brown eyes staring at me.

Woof.

I screamed and fell onto the floor. "Saxon!" standing I moved slowly to the shower and scrubbed clean, getting out I saw it was 6:45 am. "Shit." I pulled on some light blue skinny jeans and tight black t-shirt. I could not be asked to dress with brands. Too much hassle and who was I trying to impress? Tying my waist length hair into a high ponytail I began putting in my large gold hoop earrings and gold necklace. I decided to walk and got there at half seven.

I opened my locker and started collecting my things. I put in one headphone and went through my play list. Bass hunter now you're gone.

"Now you're gone

I realize my love for you was strong

And I miss you here,

Now you're gone

I keep waiting here by the phone

With your pictures hanging on the wall." I sang quietly to myself and closed my locker.

"What a beautiful voice."

I looked up at the gold and green eyes smiling warmly at me. "Thanks?"


	2. Did my time

I DO NOT OWN MY CANDY LOVE!

Did my time - Korn

I am the one who chose my path

I am the one who couldn't last

I feel the life pulled from me

I feel the anger changing me

So I later find out this prick with weird eyes is Castiel's BFF. WTF?!

We started talking and to be honest I enjoyed it. He was mature and could make good conversation without asking too many questions. He told me he was singer and he was in a band. We began talking about music and when the subject 'winged skull' came up we got into a lengthy convocation about them too, we paired up for history together. It was only half way through the lesson I realised I had no idea what his name was. Oh well id find out sooner or later.

The day passed quickly and not once did I see Castiel or Amber. I went to talk to Nathaniel and found out Castiel was suspended or something.

As I walked over to my Harley two little blonde and brown things covered in pink beamed smiles at me. "Hey we haven't seen you hang out with anyone so we decided to come over and say hi! Also we would be happy to hang out with you round school." the blonde one said so quickly I think the words poured out more like sick then a sentence. The brown haired on nodded feebly.

I stared at them for a while. "Is this a joke?"

"Nope!" the blonde on chirped.

"Uh sure whatever." I put on my helmet and swing my leg over. I started the engine and revved a couple times making a few people jump out of their skins.

"Oh I'm Shellie and this is Cassie." the blonde one now known to me as Shellie called.

I nodded and took off.

My evening was pretty uneventful and just mad me made. Emma and Kat were too busy doing 'homework' to talk to me which annoyed me because i knew there was a party back home that they were dying to go to, that's fine but done lie to me. Saxon got half way out the door and crapped himself because some idiot let off a firework and there was nothing good on TV.

For the next three days Shellie and Cassie stuck to me like glue and it was nice. I didn't see Castiel once and later found out he had been suspended. Shellie talked a lot while both Cassie and I listened. They were cousins and grew up together, Cassie's dad was sick so she was staying with Shellie for the year.

Cassie was quiet but she smiled often although her eyes were pits of sadness. Shellie was always beaming and full of happiness.

I sat in our usual place in the cafeteria and waited for Shellie and Cassie. I looked round and noticed the glares and odd looks I first got were now just sideways glances and whispers. I was interrupted by a few shouts and a sudden wave of people moving towards the hall. I shrugged and picked up my apple.

"Deanna!"

I turned round to see Shellie running towards me, as she got closer I saw her cheeks were red and puffy with large tears streaming from her eyes. I stood up "What's the matter?"

"Am-Amber a-a..." she stuttered.

"Spit it out chick!" I said looking at her.

"Cassie knocked into Amber and now Ambers going to-"

I broke into a run following the crowd. I came to a wall of students and began clawing my way through to reach Cassie before Amber could get to her. I could just see them, them. I was pushed back and hit on the head, furious I ripped through and nearly fell when reached an opening. I saw Cassie hiding her face and Amber screaming at her. My head throbbed violently as I stepped towards Amber. I pulled at her blonde locks and threw her back, then went to Cassie. "Hey kiddo you okay?"

Cassie looked at me with big red eyes and nodded. I looked around for Shellie and guided Cassie towards her. "Get her cleaned okay?" I smiled at Shellie.

Shellie nodded gratefully and disappeared.

I turned round quickly and saw Amber. Her hand came towards me faster than I could think; she got me across the cheek. That was it.

"What is your problem?" I screamed and lunged at her, knocking her to the ground and landing my fist on her face.

"Get off me you whore!" She spat.

"If you have a problem with me, say it to me don't terrorise my friends." I raised a fist again but felt a hand wrap round it before I could move. I looked down to hit Amber with my free hand but saw her standing with Nathaniel holding her back. I stood and went for her again but the hand tightened and pulled me back, I turned round to look at who was holding me.

"Don't even think about hitting me again, just stop and come with me." Castiel said with cold eyes.

I began to pull away when I heard a shout, the head teacher. I shot past Castiel and out, hiding by the koi pond. I heard a rustle from the willow leaves and saw Cas glaring at me.

"We need to talk."

"Okay...start talking." I said, looking into cold grey eyes.

"First, you should pick your fights better." He said calmly.

"Ill pick fights with who I want." I replied coldly.

"Second, you act like you don't care about anything. Last time Good grades were everything to you!"

"Were! Castiel. I've got other things to worry about." I snapped.

"I don't know who you think you are but this isn't you Deanna! You smoke now, when I first tried it and you would speak to me for hours! You ride a motorbike, I drove a bike once and you cried because you thought I'd crack my head open and die." He shouted, clenching his fists.

"Why are you so worried? It's not like it affects you." I stated sharply.

"That's not the point!"

"That exactly the point!

"Why did you pull me away? Why are you talking to me now?" I glared at him.

"Because I-I... I CARE ABOUT YOU!"

We both stared at each other, the words processing.

"I don't need you to 'care' anymore. I've learnt to take care of myself, because no one else will help you." I started walking away.

"Deanna wait."

I felt his hand wrap gently around my wrist, A familiar tingling sensation travelled through my arm and sent waves through my body. I stood staring at Castiel, his dark eyes looking straight at mine. He took a step closer and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

I stood still, again in shock. Why did he do this? Get me so angry, and then with one look, make me feel so useless. No. Not this time.

I straightened up and pulled myself away. "Don't do that."

Castiel just looked away. "What?"

I walked past him, "Just leave me alone."


	3. Lost In The Echo

Lost in the echo- linkin park

Monster- Meg and Dia DotEXE remix

_You were that foundation Never gonna be another one, no._  
_I followed, so taken So conditioned I could never let go Then sorrow, then sickness Then the shock when you flip it on me So hollow, so vicious So afraid I couldn't let myself see That I could never be held Back or up no, I'll hold myself Check the rep, yep you know mine well Forget the rest let them know my hell There and back yet my soul ain't sell Kept respect up,the best they fell,_  
_Let the rest be the tale they tell That I was there saying_

_In these promises broken Deep below Each word gets lost in the echo So one last lie I can see through This time I finally let you Go, go, go._

_Test my will, test my heart Let me tell you how the odds gonna stack up Y'all go hard, I go smart How's that working out for y'all in the back, huh?_  
_I've seen that frustration Been crossed and lost and told "No"_  
_And I've come back unshaken Let down and lived and let go So you can let it be known I don't hold back, I hold my own I can't be mapped, I can't be cloned I can't C-flat, it ain't my tone I can't fall back, I came too far Hold myself up and love my scars Let the bells ring wherever they are 'Cause I was there saying..._

"No, you can tell 'em all now I don't back up, I don't back down I don't fold up, and I don't bow I don't roll over, don't know how I don't care where the enemies are Can't be stopped, all I know; go hard Won't forget how I got this far " I sang the last part as I finished kicking the shit out of the dummie I was practicing on and turned the ipod off. Getting in the shower, i turned the water up hot and scrubbed myself clean, repeating the son in my head,

-You were that foundation, Never gonna be another one, no. I followed, so taken. So conditioned I could never let go. Then sorrow, then sickness. Then the shock when you flip it on me. So hollow, so vicious.-

Sounded so familair.

I dryed off and pulled on some trackies and blue t-shirt. I wasnt going to school today, I felt 'ill'. To be honest I was in a one man battle, part of me wanted to see Castiel and forgive him for everything.. yeah fucking right. The other part of me to rip his throat out How dare he? He hugged me and told me he still cared about me?. Plus I had a headache. I sat on the sofa and hugged Saxon for most of the day, while we watched T.V.

I stayed home for two days before Shellie and Cassie came to see chatted for a while when i noticed Cassie getting restless.

"Cassie are you okay?" I asked, she fliched and looked away,to Shellie.

Shellie nodded and looked at me."we need to tell you something... about Castiel and Amber..."

I smiled. "What they both got suspended?"

"No...they..they."

"Got into a fight?"

"They are together."

I sat in shock for a moment then laughed. "Your kidding right?"

Shellie stood, followed by Cassie "We better go."

I watched them leave. After five minutes of agony thinking over different meanings 'They are together' could mean, I put on some jeans and a jacket, leaving my hair down. I Walked to Castiel's house. It hadn't changed. I stopped by the door and just stared at the gold door knocker. I reached for it with a shaky hand but my hand dropped and I turned around, walking down the steps and away from the house. I couldnt do it. I didnt want to know the truth.

"Deanna?"

I looked back to the house and saw Castiel standing there.

"What are you doing?" He asked walking towards me.

I tried to find an excuse but i couldnt hold it in. "Is it true?"

"What? Is what true?" He asked standing there limply.

"Are you and Amber together?" I shouted.

"So you found out?" he smiled.

"Why do you do this to me?! Tell me you still care about me, then do this!"

"You made your feelings clear! You hate me, I dont know what you want from me!" He shouted.

"Im a girl! Even I don't know what I want!" I shouted, "I don't know if I want to kiss you or slit your throat!"

Castiel smiled and put his hand behind my neck and his other arm around my waist, then kissed me.

My note~ Starting think i should have called this Physcos in love lmao! Its crappy i know but this is one of the many upates coming up this week.


End file.
